Gre写作是美国所有作文考试中时刻最长而质量要求最高的一类作文考试，而在短期内提高gre写作能力不是一天两天可以完成额，所以我们在备考2011新gre写作时必然要对问题问题深切的剖析，体味以下优异范文的文章结构，以提高新gre写作的整体分数。
Idisagreewiththeargumentthat"Boththedevelopmentoftechnologicaltoolsandtheusestowhichhumanityhasputthemhavecreatedmoderncivilizationsinwhichlonelinessiseverincreasing.""Argumentscanbemadeforthisthesis,buttheydependlargelyuponwhatIbelievetobeapoordefinitionof"loneliness".
Ifonedefineslonelinessastheabsenceofasmuchphysical,face-to-facecontactwithotherpeople,thenthisargumentisprobablytrue.Theinventionofmoderntelecommunicationsdevicessuchastelephones,faxmachines,andcomputershasdefinitelycutdownontheamountofphysicalcontactwithotherpeople.ThisisespeciallytrueinrecenttimesduetotheextremelyrapidexpansionoftheInternet.E-mailandtele-conferencingaredirectsubstitutesforphysicalcontact,especiallyinthebusinessworld.
However,Ibelievethatlonelinesscanbebettermeasuredbyintellectualcontactwithotherindividuals.Unarguably,moderntechnologymakesthisfasterandeasier,withbettercommunicationwithalargernumberofpeople.SomeemployershavearguedthatproductivityislessenedsincetheyhavehadcomputerslinkedtotheInternet,astheemployeesspendmuchoftheirtime"chatting"withfriends,acquaintances,orbusinesscontactsacrossthecountry.Thisisprobablynotagoodthingfortheemployers,butitdemonstratestheincreaseddegreeofcommunicationduetomoderntechnology.
Ofcourse,sometechnologieshaveincreasedlonelinessbyanystandards,suchastheautomobileorothertransportationmechanisms.Theseencouragesubstantiallylongercommutesbetweenhomeandwork.AutomobileshavemadepossiblethepatternofsuburbanizationthathasbeeninplaceintheUnitedStatessinceimmediatelyafterWorldWarTwo.Timespentcommutingisgenerallyunproductiveandspentalone,unlesstheindividualinquestioniscar-poolingorusingmasstransit.Thecontributionofthecommutingculturetolonelinessmayactuallybechangingnowduetonewtechnologythatisbeinginventedandusedbythegeneralpublic.Popularnewdevices,suchasthecellularphone,thelaptopcomputer,andthecombinationthereofmayactuallyconvertcommutingtimetoaperiodofincreasedcommunicationsbetweenpeople,to"passthetime".Thiswillbeespeciallytrueasuseofmasstransitgrows,whichwillprobablyhappen,duetoproblemswithgasshortages,airpollution,andthecreationoffurthermasstransitbyfederalandlocalgovernments.
Themotivationforthedeclarationthatlonelinessisincreasingmaybeduetothefactthatmanypeople,especiallyblue-collarworkers,areunabletoaffordorusethesenewdevices.However,sincetheadventofthepersonalcomputer,thepricepercomputingpowerhascontinuallyloweredrapidly,andthistrendshowsnosignofchanging.Severalcompanies,suchasSunMicrosystemsandOraclehaveannouncedthattheyareattemptingtodevelopterminalswithlittlecomputingpower,butafullcapabilitytoaccesstheInternet.Thesedeviceswillbeinapproximatelythe$500pricerange,whichismuchmorereasonablethanthepriceofthecurrenttopofthelinePC.Inaddition,tocatertoalargermassofthepublic,softwarecompanieshavebeencarefullymakingtheirproductseasiertousebynon-"computernerds".Thistrendisnotlikelytocease.
Inconclusion,althoughearlydevelopmentofmoderntransportationmayhaveincreasedloneliness,Ibelievethatmorerecenttechnologiesareactuallydoingtheopposite,stimulatinginterpersonalcontactandencouragingintellectualexpansion.TheperceptionthattheoppositeistruederivesfromwhatIbelieveispoordefinitionoflonelinessandthedifficultythattheworkingclasshasinacquiringandusingmoderntelecommunicationsdevices.
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Thisstrongresponseanalyzesthecomplexitiesoftheissue.Indisagreeingwiththeprompt,thewritermakesadistinctionbetweentwotypesofloneliness--lonelinesscausedby"theabsenceof???physicalcontact"andlonelinessbroughtaboutbyalackof"intellectualcontact"withothers.Theessayreasonsthatwhile"theautomobileandothertransportationmechanisms"originallykeptpassengersphysicallyandintellectuallyisolatedfromoneanother,moderntechnology,suchasthecellulartelephoneandlaptopcomputer,hasmadeintellectualcontact"fasterandeasier"andhasbenefitedusersbyallowingthemtocommunicatewith"alargernumberofpeople."
Theresponseprovidesclearandrelevantexamplesofthewaysinwhichtechnologicaldevelopmentsfacilitateandencourageintellectualcommunication.Thewriterexaminestheimpactofuser-friendlyInternetaccessontheindividual’sabilitytointeractwithothersevenwhenphysicaldistanceseparatesthecommunicatingparties.
Theorganizationisclear,yettransitionsbetweenparagraphsarenotalwayssmooth.Thebodyoftheessaylacksthefocusthatwouldhelpmoveittoascoreof6.Itisnotalwaysclearhowtheinformationgivenrelatestotheessay’sinitialposition(e.g.,thediscussionofcurrentpricesforpersonalcomputersinparagraphfive).Theconclusion,whileclearlyrelevant,attemptstoimposeorderonthesomewhatlooselyconnectedparagraphs,yetfailstoaddsubstancetotheanalysis.
Onthewhole,theessaydisplaysclarityandcontrol,butthelanguageissometimesimpreciseandlesstightlycontrolledthanitwouldbeina6essay.Thefollowingsentenceisonesuchexample:"Themotivationforthedeclarationthatlonelinessisincreasingmaybeduetothefactthatmanypeople,especiallyblue-collarworkers,areunabletoaffordorusethesenewdevices."
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