GRE写作成为横在中国学生的理想和现实之间的一大障碍，因此，如何攻克写作这道屏障，成为摆在我们面前的首要任务。
Intodayssocietywespendtomuchtimeaddressingissuesthatwillnotprepareusforthetrialsandtributlationsfacingouryoungpeople.
Forexample,thereisawarondrugsthatiseffectingeveryfamilyinamerica,withoutanyconsiderationforrace,gender,orenthicbackground.Thiscountryneedstodevelopasystermonhowtodealwiththisongoingproblemeffectingamericans.Therearecertainissuesthatconstantlytakecenterstageinamerica;forexampleracerelationshasreturntothehorribledaysofthefifiths.Thereisknowdoubtthatwearefacingtroublingtimes,andwearenotpayingattentiontowhatisgoingon.Weneedtogetbacktoourvaluesysterm,family,work,church,andresponsibilityandemphasistoourchildrentheimportancyofeducationandrespectofothers.Ifweprovideahealthymodelwecanhelpcurvetheviolenceandmayheamthethatisdestroyingourschools,citiesandstates.
Finally,ifweareproudofbeingamericans,lesstakethisproblemanddosomethingaboutitbydiversitytrainingandmulti-culturalactivities. 中华考试网(www．liuxue86。com)
Sincerely,
评价
Thisessayprovideslittleevidenceofacoherentresponsetothetopicandcontainssevereandpersistenterrorsinlanguageandsentencestructure.
Theessayseemstodefine"environment"broadly,thoughvaguely,asthe"culturalenvironment."Whiletheideathatenvironmentalproblemsarefundamentallyculturalinorigincouldbethebasisforapromisingessay,thisresponsedoesnotcoherentlydevelopthatidea.Moreover,thewriterdoesnotaddresstheissue’sclaimsaboutinternationalcooperation.Insteadtheessayjumpsfromproblemtoproblemwithoutadequatelydescribingthoseproblems.Forexample,"thewarondrugs"isreferredtoasaproblem,butitisnotclearwhetheritislawenforcement’s"war"ondrugsorpeople’suseofdrugsthatistheissue.
Theessaycontainsnumerouserrorsthatinterferewithcomprehension.Theseincludeerrorsinwordusage("emphasistoourchildren,""lesstakethisproblem")andgrammar("racerelationshasreturnto").Finally,theessayendswithaclosing("Sincerely")thatismoreappropriateforaletterthananessay.
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