2012GRE作文范文：历年GRE考试Issue主题范文及评析29

Gre写作是美国所有作文考试中时刻最长而质量要求最高的一类作文考试，而在短期内提高gre写作能力不是一天两天可以完成额，所以我们在备考2011新gre写作时必然要对问题问题深切的剖析，体味以下优异范文的文章结构，以提高新gre写作的整体分数。
Therearemanyschoolviolencesineachschool.Thosearebigproblemstoourgovenmentandsocial.Schoolviolenceseffectthestudyingofstudents.Thisisveryserious,evensomestudentsarenervioustogoschool.Infact,thegovernmentmustgivestudentsacleanplacetostudy.Teachersshouldhelpstudentsknowitisadutytostudy.So,everyoneshouldfacethosebigproblems.
Doweknowwhatarestudents’ideas?Dotheeducatorstrytoknow?Mosteducatorshopethegovenmentcangivestudentsmoreandhelpthemmore.Thesearepeople’shope.Butitissounfortunatethatstudentscan’thaveagoodplacetostudy.Also,teachershavetoteachthestudents.Notthatstudentscanknowwhattostudybythemself.Inthecompus,therearemanyguyssellthedrugsandacoholtoyoungerstudents.Whythoseguyscangointotheschool?Thatisalsothemainproblem. 中华考试网(www．liuxue86。com)
Whenwewerelittle,wedidn’tknowwhatiscorrectandwhatiswrong.Soweloseourselfeasily.Atthesametime,weneedmuchcarefromparentsandteachers.Soourteachersandparentsplaytheimportantrolesandtheyownmustdobetter.Becausesomestudentslearnsomebadhabitsfromtheirteachersandparents.
Ifwewanttoresolvealltheproblems,wemustfacetheproblemsandfindoutthereasons,thentrytoresolvethem.Wealsomustcareallstudents.Ifwecanhelpthem,tringtodoourbest.Then,theproblemswillbecomelessandless.
COMMENTARY
Thisisaseriouslyflawedresponsetothetopic.Thewriterbeginsbydiscussingschoolviolenceandtheneedforagoodplacetostudy,parentalandteacherinfluence,andresolutionofschoolproblems.Theissueofwhoshoulddeterminethecurriculum,teachersorstudents,isimpliedbutnotaddresseddirectly.Infact,teacher-directedlearningseemstobeasmallpointinaseriesofconcernsrelatedtoschoolviolence.Thedevelopmentofapositionontheissueisunfocusedanddisorganized.Eventheexample,drugselling,relatestoschoolviolenceandnottocurricularresponsibility.
Languageerrorsarenumerous.Problemswithcorrectuseoftense,diction,wordorder,sentencestructure,andsubject-verbagreementalsointerferewithmeaning.Hadthewriternotincludedreferencestoteachershelpingstudentsknowwhattostudy,theessaywouldprobablyhavereceivedascoreof1insteadofa2. 感谢您阅读《历年GRE考试Issue主题范文及评析29 》一文，出国留学网(liuxue86.com)编辑部希望本文能帮助到您。